The Basics - Start Here

Eye contact is fundamental to nearly all social interactions, yet it is a skill that is often given very little conscious attention. Somehow it is expected that we will be able to perform perfect eye contact without any advice or training. For most, it is learnt through experience and is rarely given a second thought. However, for some, an issue arises.

The importance of eye contact

Research over the past few decades has shown eye contact to be practically hard-wired into the way we interact with one another. For instance, one study demonstrated even babies as old as two months show an overwhelming preference for the eyes when looking at a face.

Yet despite the growing research indicating the importance of this skill, some of us cannot manage to make natural eye contact. To make matters worse, learning eye contact is unlike learning most skills. If one wishes to learn public speaking, one can practice in a toastmaster’s group or in a course designed specifically for this purpose.

However, opportunities to really focus on developing better eye contact are lacking.

The reasons why a person might never learn good eye contact behaviour are too many for the scope of this article, however some of the major ones include

• Traumatic experiences

• Social anxiety

• Lack of social exposure

It is possible for a person to go for years never feeling entirely comfortable with the act of making eye contact. The longer this goes on, the more engrained these patterns of behaviour become, until in some cases, one is unable to make even the simplest eye contact for more than a split second.

I know this because this was once my experience. Before learning the information that you can find on this website, I could not look a person in the eyes under any circumstances. The doubt surrounding my ability to produce speech and maintain the other’s gaze was so profound that I would feel irresistibly compelled to look away when speaking to another.

The good news

If you are struggling to make natural and effortless eye contact know that with practice and the proper strategies success is relatively easy.

Eye contact issues come on a spectrum, and even those with the most severe cases are able to make massive improvements in a relatively short time with consistent practice. If your case is less than severe, then you should see improvements even faster.